Friday, February 7, 2014

The zombie bots have arrived

The zombies are loose! The apocalypse finally happened! We are living past the end times, and our fellow humans are trying to eat our brains!

...or, well, not quite yet. But the zombie bots are loose on Twitter, and they are legion. As in, hundreds upon hundreds of them, chainfollowing people like so many cigarettes.


Money, mostly.

Somehow, someone got the bright idea that their next viral marketing stunt would be to create zounds of zombie twitter accounts, and have them all floodfollow selected persons at the same time. Not one, not two, not three, but hundreds of them. All at the same time, all at once, to simulate the authentic zombie experience.

Subtle. Not.

It's about as subtle as walking up to strangers on the subway employing very threatening body language, to create a tense situation where violence seems to be imminent, and then break out in an enthusiastic "aha! fooled ya! Watch our special on domestic abuse we're sending later this week!".

They did just that. In no uncertain terms.

The zombie bots have arrived. In force. And in great numbers.

As this is a marketing move, the only thing to do is to act like good customers and let them know that we've received the message. And that we no longer are nor will be their customers in any capacity ever again.

The zombie bots have arrived. And as everyone who's ever watched a zombie movie where the word "viral" is used, there is only one appropriate strategy to use when the time has come:

 Scorched earth.

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